The typical American workplace is often rife with clashing egos, ideas, and agendas. Some of us look for opportunities to assert our authority and opinions with gusto, while others duck and cover at the slightest hint of controversy. But how we handle the conflict inherent in our work lives says a lot about us, and whether we really have to the tools and disposition to lead others.

Whether an argument arises because of an interpersonal issue, or a disagreement on how to solve a business problem, the culprit of unproductive conflict is usually the same: unchecked emotion. Emotions in business are not wrong in and of themselves–they are completely natural, and can even be used to demonstrate essential leadership qualities, like passion and enthusiasm!  But when we choose a response that produces fear, anger, or shame, productivity is demolished.

Our results in the workplace are improved dramatically when we understand the truth about conflict–it can be used to make our relationships and organizations stronger. Much the way a muscle has to first be broken down in order to grow, managing conflict appropriately can, over time, strengthen relationships and increase trust.

Here are three principles for converting conflict into trust, right from Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends & Influence People:

  1. “Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say, ‘You’re wrong.'”

  2. “Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.”

  3. “If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.”

These simple changes in mindset (and aligning our words and actions with this mindset) produce a shift in work relationships that, with consistent practice, increase both productivity and workplace satisfaction.

Download Dale Carnegie’s latest white paper on “Recognizing Leadership Blind Spots.”

Posted by MaryAnn Means-Dufrene

MaryAnn Means-Dufrene is Tarrant County Market President for Dale Carnegie North Texas. MaryAnn develops tailored strategies to meet the professional development needs of Fort Worth businesses. Through strategic partnerships, she works with clients to create customized skill development plans to enhance the variety of solutions Dale Carnegie offers through both in-house delivery and publicly offered workshops and seminars. MaryAnn has tremendous experience in collaborating with organizations in Tarrant County, most recently serving as Executive Director of Susan G. Komen Greater Fort Worth, and previously serving as Deputy Chief of Staff to Fort Worth Mayor Betsy Price. She is a graduate of Texas A&M University with a degree in psychology, and earned her Master of Public Administration and Master of Strategic Human Resource Management degrees at the University of Texas at Arlington. MaryAnn lives with her husband Matt, son Hogan, and three dogs, Sable, Deuce, and Lovey in Fort Worth, Texas.

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