Principle #18: Be Sympathetic With The Other Person’s Ideas And Desires

Stephen Grellet, a prominent French-born American Quaker missionary, epitomizes the reasons for this Dale Carnegie principle with his statement, “I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to my fellow man, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”

This principle says put yourself in the other person’s shoes and see the situation from their perspective. Too often with our employees we are unwilling to see the situation from their perspective because as leaders we want the work done in the way we expect and completed when we expect it.

Example: Suzy came to me with her ideas on a project she was working. She presented evidence that supported her ideas on the project. I could have easily said no I want you to do it my way. Instead I listened to her ideas and allowed her to complete the project in the way she wanted.

What was the result? The project was a complete failure. However, Suzy worked double-time to fix it and she now has the confidence to bring forward her ideas and desires.  I was able to build an environment that allowed employees to bring forth their ideas without fear if they failed. Steve Jobs set the standard for this approach and look how successful Apple was under his leadership.

(By Dale Carnegie *1888-1955* founder of the Carnegie Course)

Download Dale Carnegie’s Golden Book for access to the entire list of Human Relations Principles

Posted by Mary Kuniski

Mary Kuniski is a catalyst for business and individual change. Throughout her career, she has consistently led corporate businesses into the future, often achieving process improvement and change that others could not. Mary’s enthusiastic attitude and tenacious ability to keep moving forward is why she identifies with this quote from Dale Carnegie: “Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” Passionate about problem resolution and committed to coaching and leading others, Mary is driven to ensure that everything she does provides lasting value. At a young age, her leadership and public speaking skills were recognized and nurtured through her ten-year participation in 4-H. She has also fostered change for businesses such as Parkinson Voice Project, where she directed the implementation of their website and online learning management system, and Overhead Door Corporation, where she created and launched a successful core data process improvement strategy. During her tenure with The Michaels Companies, Mary held five Director positions and three Vice President roles, and pioneered the company’s expansion into Quebec. Her efforts to lead the transformation of over 40,000 craft items to three languages resulted in Michaels becoming the first international retailer to acquire language certification from Quebec on the initial attempt. This meant Michaels successfully adherred to strict French-language laws. Mary has over 20 years in executive leadership in the retail industry and for 10 years led supply chain shipment improvement and savings and reduction efforts at Michaels. Mary is a Dale Carnegie graduate, certified trainer, and consultant for Dale Carnegie DFW's Executive Leadership training. She holds an MBA in Global Management from the University of Phoenix and a degree in Human Development, Clothing Studies from Pennsylvania State University.

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