Principle #18: Be Sympathetic With The Other Person’s Ideas And Desires

Stephen Grellet, a prominent French-born American Quaker missionary, epitomizes the reasons for this Dale Carnegie principle with his statement, “I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to my fellow man, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”

This principle says put yourself in the other person’s shoes and see the situation from their perspective. Too often with our employees we are unwilling to see the situation from their perspective because as leaders we want the work done in the way we expect and completed when we expect it.

Example: Suzy came to me with her ideas on a project she was working. She presented evidence that supported her ideas on the project. I could have easily said no I want you to do it my way. Instead I listened to her ideas and allowed her to complete the project in the way she wanted.

What was the result? The project was a complete failure. However, Suzy worked double-time to fix it and she now has the confidence to bring forward her ideas and desires.  I was able to build an environment that allowed employees to bring forth their ideas without fear if they failed. Steve Jobs set the standard for this approach and look how successful Apple was under his leadership.

(By Dale Carnegie *1888-1955* founder of the Carnegie Course)

Download Dale Carnegie’s Golden Book for access to the entire list of Human Relations Principles

Posted by Mary Kuniski

Mary Kuniski is an accomplished Senior Executive with more than 35 years of success across the retail, finance, non-profit, and manufacturing industries. She has leveraged her extensive experience in change management, executive coaching, and project management to develop capable and productive leaders. She is a valuable asset for organizations in the process of training employees on operational improvements and leadership skills. Her broad areas of expertise include vendor management, project management, change management, event planning, financial analysis, relationship building, problem-solving and Oracle ERP solution implementations. Mary’s professional​ career has been defined by her ability to obtain increasing positions of seniority and deliver results to diverse clients and companies. She has held leadership positions for organizations including Michaels, Overhead Door Corporation, and Parkinson Voice Project. She currently works as an Independent Consultant and Executive Coach for Golden Professional Coaching, LLC, where she dedicates herself to coaching high-potential executives, executives in transition, and mid-level executives seeking to improve their skills. She also works with small to medium size companies to develop long-term business plans and identify and overcome complex challenges. During her tenure with Michaels, she drove the company’s expansion into Quebec and led the conversion of over 60,000 packages to appear in three languages while successfully adhering to French-language laws. Mary received her Bachelor of Science in Human Development from Pennsylvania State University and her Master of Business Administration in Global Management from the University of Phoenix. She received her Certification in Training from Dale Carnegie Training and became a Certified Executive Coach through Marshall Goldsmith. She is affiliated with the National Association of Female Executives and the Network of Executive Women. While working for Michaels, Mary initiated a Woman in Leadership group that grew to over 200 members and maintained a 30% promotion rate for regular attendees.

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